How do you move The Beast?

Howard went running outside one evening, after a tennis ball, stopped dead, turned around with this mournful look, lifting one paw. Uh-oh...
Limped inside and went to bed at around 8pm...didn't get up the next morning so I'm starting to get really worried. I mean, how do you move a 130+ lb. beast?? A crane?
I called the vet and they prescribed a pain killer. Nurse: "Just give him the 200 lb. dosage." OK...
So I have to try and get this mournful dog to open up and drink the liquid medication, which was a trick. I guess it was better than a pill!! He wouldn't even lift his head...talk about a drama queen!
So by noon,, I'm starting to panic...he has not peed since 8pm the night before...
I figure if I go downstairs he will follow because he will follow me around the house when I'm home..upstairs, downstairs, inside, outside, like a little kid.
I turn around and realize he has made it all the way downstairs on his own, without a sound. Let him out and he's limping a bit, but fine. WHEW!
Won't walk up the two stairs to the deck, so I open the garage and he gets inside.
Love that medication!!
Took him a couple of days, and he's fine now. Especially after "Daddy" came home.
Big baby.

How to tell if somebody has a big dog

I started thinking about signs in my house that I have a huge Great Dane...
*There is no butter...anywhere in the kitchen. The butter goes in the butter dish but no matter how far back on the counter I put it....magically the butter dish is empty again. Same with bread or any fun treat. He will even lick out all the dirty pans if you leave them in the sink. 
*Scratches five feet up on the wall by the front door. When Howard welcomes visitors, he jumps up to look out the side window and lately I've noticed claw marks at eye level.
*Lots of shut doors everywhere. Have to shut the doors in every bathroom or Howard will turn on every faucet for a little afternoon sip. And if you don't, get ready to slip and slide with the water splashed on the floor. Or you'll find an empty toilet bowl....he can open those and drink and drink and drink...
*A locking trash can! Woohoo! Best invention ever.
*A human peanut butter jar and a Howard peanut butter jar. He is addicted!! Fill up the Kong with peanut butter...better than a pacifier! And lately he has decided to bring me the Kong to tell me when it's time for his fix!
*Bandanas everywhere...Howard LOVES to wear them, two or three at a time. And if you take one off to wash it, he will find it and bring it to you. "I need my style, man!"
*Water fountains outside with NO water in them...he loves those! How nice of me to provide an extra water bowl outside!!
*No extra little sofa pillows. LOVES to shake them like stuffed animals, especially if there's a dog on tv!
*The guest room is Howard's room. Big Great Danes can't sleep on the floor..it's all those elbows and knees that start to hurt. He needs a BED. I even found a place that makes BIG dog beds...nope.
He's crazy but we love him!!

Ouch...

Hey dudes!
Mom is home with me all day now so I keep waiting for her to get up and play with ME!!
So she got a ball and I ran outside to catch the ball...yay!
All of a sudden, something happened and my paw really hurt!! Wow....that's bad.
So I just went upstairs with her and went to bed....yikes that hurts.
I got up in the morning, went and laid on Mom and Dad's bed but didn't get up for 17 HOURS....man, I had to pee big time! Luckily, Mom got some stuff from the vet that makes that pain go away. She kept saying she would need a crane to get me downstairs. So she got me some peanut butter and...little by little...I made my way down the stairs and finally got outside. WHEW! 
Wow! It was great!
We went outside and I was back to my old self barking at all those bad kids!!
Feeling a little better today...I just love my mom and want to sit by her all the time!!