How to tell if somebody has a big dog

I started thinking about signs in my house that I have a huge Great Dane...
*There is no butter...anywhere in the kitchen. The butter goes in the butter dish but no matter how far back on the counter I put it....magically the butter dish is empty again. Same with bread or any fun treat. He will even lick out all the dirty pans if you leave them in the sink. 
*Scratches five feet up on the wall by the front door. When Howard welcomes visitors, he jumps up to look out the side window and lately I've noticed claw marks at eye level.
*Lots of shut doors everywhere. Have to shut the doors in every bathroom or Howard will turn on every faucet for a little afternoon sip. And if you don't, get ready to slip and slide with the water splashed on the floor. Or you'll find an empty toilet bowl....he can open those and drink and drink and drink...
*A locking trash can! Woohoo! Best invention ever.
*A human peanut butter jar and a Howard peanut butter jar. He is addicted!! Fill up the Kong with peanut butter...better than a pacifier! And lately he has decided to bring me the Kong to tell me when it's time for his fix!
*Bandanas everywhere...Howard LOVES to wear them, two or three at a time. And if you take one off to wash it, he will find it and bring it to you. "I need my style, man!"
*Water fountains outside with NO water in them...he loves those! How nice of me to provide an extra water bowl outside!!
*No extra little sofa pillows. LOVES to shake them like stuffed animals, especially if there's a dog on tv!
*The guest room is Howard's room. Big Great Danes can't sleep on the floor..it's all those elbows and knees that start to hurt. He needs a BED. I even found a place that makes BIG dog beds...nope.
He's crazy but we love him!!